“Fake it til you make it”…That’s a mantra that we are getting too comfortable using in regards to dismissing our emotions.

As someone who’s been in therapy for a few years I’ve unlearned several unhealthy behaviors when it comes to processing my emotions. I am a strong black woman, no doubt about it. But that’s not a compliment anymore, it’s draining. It’s already difficult to get out of bed some days and then go to work and be “F.A.K.E.” Oh and working in customer service, dealing with people of all sorts while having to pretend your heart isn’t breaking or that you’re not slowly crumbling on the inside is TRASH. I give it a 0/10, wouldn’t recommend.

In the work place, I understand separating work from personal. I am capable of setting aside the personal to perform my job. See here’s my issue with the idea of faking it til you make it: to me it sounds like someone telling you “I know you’re going through something but work needs to come first.” I feel as though society the last couple of decades has conditioned us to suppress our emotions for 8 hours a day (at least). I’ve had the longest 4 months of my life since losing my grandmother. After suffering that loss, for 2 months I dreaded having to go to work. And when I was at work I hated being around people because I was feeling emotionally chaotic internally. Sometimes you don’t have to lose people to feel like that. There’s so much going on in the world, it can cause anyone who experiences depression or anxiety, like myself, to want to break down.

If it’s not at work then maybe it’s amongst your family or friends. When you’re labeled “strong” it can feel like you’re almost being made to withstand a lot of different things. It can feel like you’re not able to express your emotions in any capacity. When you’re viewed as the strong friend people think you’re handling obstacles or processing things without breaking a sweat. But, what they don’t see is you breaking down minutes before going to work. Or even having a breakdown before meeting up to go have a night of fun. We get so used to setting aside our feelings to the point that it almost becomes routine to do. Sometimes it’s hard to be vulnerable when you feel as though you don’t have the option, space or time to do so.

To the person reading this, you’re human and it’s ok to not be ok. Sometimes you can’t F.A.K.E. it til you make it and that’s ok. At the end of the day, you have to look out for your own peace first. To be able to be strong during adversities is a gift, but being strong doesn’t mean you can’t have moments of vulnerability. Everyone deserves a safe space to release these emotions. You have to realize that yes you can separate your feelings when it’s needed but don’t suppress them.

Stay Flawed and Fabulous loves❤️