Grief is something that everyone unfortunately has to go through. As we continue on this journey called life, we’re going to grieve a loved one, relationship , a friendship of some sort. Whatever you’re grieving, your feelings are valid.

I’ve been struggling with coping with the death of my father. What makes this pain ache even more is that I am still grieving the death of my grandma from last year. I have gone through so many stages of grief and trying to heal but also come to terms with reality can be so conflicting. I know that death is a part of life and I try my best to wrap my head around it but it’s difficult some days.

As I continue on in my grief, I’m realizing that I haven’t given myself a break through this process. My siblings and I couldn’t truly grieve our father right away because of the weight of responsibility of having to plan his arrangements. There were also inexcusable behaviors happening around us (a story for another day) that prevented us from truly processing his death. After all was said and done I had no choice but to sit with reality. 2 and a 1/2 months later I’m trying to give myself grace. Grace was something that I thought we got from God when we continue to go through trials and tribulations (some we put our own selves in) or what we extend to someone when we’re trying to understand why they behave the way they do or make the choices they do. But this self -grace I’m adapting into is grace that’s NECESSARY. As much as I am hurting I have to realize that it’s all apart of the process. As much as I want to get to the other side of this, I have to go THROUGH this process entirely. There are no shortcuts to getting through grief. I have to find some way to be ok with the fact that physically my daddy is gone but spiritually he’ll always be with me. I find myself hearing his voice from past conversations we’ve had and that gives me comfort. Then, there are times I find comfort in knowing he loved my siblings and I. And was always proud of us. There’s also comfort in knowing that he no longer has to worry about his health or any other ailments he had to go through on this side. As much as the grief comes in waves, grace should follow behind it.

If you’ve suffered a loss and are grieving please take what you need from this. It may not seem like it’ll get better right now but we’ve got to take it one day at a time.

Stay Flawed & Fabulous loves…

I’d like to dedicate this post to my father: Tyson L. Taylor..may you rest in peace and forever be proud of me daddy🕊️